Ridiculously Badass in ShanghaiLife experiences as a foreigner in Shanghai and how you can learn from them – including my shortcut techniques for studying Chinese.

Ever seen a Chinese person mount a bicycle? It’s about the most awkward, unco-ordinated sorry sight you’ll ever see.  They usually get on the bike on the side of the road, then as they mount it, they’ll manage to uncontrollably swing into the oncoming traffic lane. And then they wonder why people like me smash into them. Why is it that 90% of the Chinese people in Shanghai are so uncoordinated, never looked both ways, and have really poor motor skills and depth perception? Why do they think that swerving into oncoming traffic is a wise decision? Humans are supposed to be aware of their surroundings, be aware of things that might indeed kill them, such as an oncoming car. The dogs on the street seem to have better judgement than these people. After all, I don’t hit too many dogs on my bicycle. Why do I hit so many Chinese on my bike? And, after I do hit them, why are they so surprised? I wouldn’t be suprised at all if I was riding in the oncoming lane, not watching where I was going, and they got hit.

Another thing: why do Chinese people never look both ways before crossing the street? Again, do they simply not care about being hit by something? What if a car hit and killed them instantly? I think they should care about that. It almost seems like they do want to remove themselves from the gene pool. That would mean few less idiots on the earth, would that be so bad? So if I hit them and it’s their fault, but they still get angry and want to fight, should I help them lose this fight thereby helping them achieve their goal of removing themself from the genepool?  Are these peasant Chinese people smarter than dogs in terms of not getting hit?